Do you hear that? I will not let you tell me to make myself smaller. I will not make myself less sad, less angry, for you. I will not accept the feelings of guilt you are trying to stir in me. I am going to feel the full love. I am going to feel the full loss. I am going to experience my full self. I am going to know, to own, that I am partially made of tears.
But we all know in our heart of hearts that everyone human is having a human experience: joy and pain, hope and despair, longing and fulfillment. So that's what I'm writing about this week. My vulnerability and imperfections.
Can one really discover something that is in them? That IS them? Can I discover something that is me? Sound absurd and yet exactly what it felt like. #light #joy @waking_lumina
In this post I break down each of the components of Principles-Focused Developmental Evalualuation with and arts-based approach in a few sentences with 2-3 key references..you know, in case you're curious!
“...too often the concept of resilience is used to place the burden of developing reliance on the shoulders of people who are struggling— struggling every day just to live, making the decision to live over and over again in the face of trauma, dissapointment, grief, and loss.”
I have never been married before and, trust me (I won’t bore you with the details), there are a lot of lonely years and awful dates when you are still unmarried in your early 40’s. But this is also true. It’s worth waiting for the right person. Andy is everything I barely dared to hope for.
“...my heart believes other parts of me and my life are suffering because I’m protecting it. Her. Overprotecting her. I didn’t know my heart felt that way. I thought she needed me.”
Okay, that was clear. From me to me. Stop saying yes when I want to say no and vice versa. The icky feeling in the short run will pay off in the long run. Easier said than done BUT something has to change in this new year. I'm sick of overpromising and then living in scarcity mode. No more scarcity mode.
I'm having one of those moments in my life where everything I've learned -- personally and professionally, intellectually and spiritually, in word and body -- is transcending separate knowings and experiences to become one thing.
Why do I have to do this? Why the disconnect in the first place? What's so scary in my body? I suspect the answer is layered and complex, not easily revealed and understood. But one thing, I think, is my deep capacity for empathy.
I know I feel more empathy than most, and my heart ofter hurts. I know I’m sensitive to others’ pain and I’m not always sure what to do with that pain. I know I’m not as sensitive to my own pain as I should be. I know that I love, fiercely, and I fear that some day someone I love will break me because my love is too big. I
This isn’t Hallmark stuff. Doing it means stepping outside of what’s comfortable, throwing away many of the things I thought I knew, and risking sounding a bit nuts. But when I weigh that against the possibility that I’ll miss the point of life, the risk suddenly seem small.
What they don't tell you is about the moments when you fall out of love. It feels like a hardening of the softness you developed with him--the flow, the dresses, the dreamy thoughts, the sigh while you rest your should on him when he comes to stand near you.
"I don't have time to write," I tell myself. "I must make time to write," says my inner voice.
"I'm a terrible writer," I tell myself. "It doesn't matter," says my inner voice. "The writing is for you, not them."
"Our culture offers us a very limited range of perspectives about what family looks like or feels like that have been bound by time, place and culture. We must actively search for the meanings and terms that are right for me."